We all have crushes on animated characters. Let’s just face that truth right now. I used to think I was alone in my attractions, but over the last few years I’ve come to find out that there are others out there just like me, wanting to make drawn figures their significant others, too. Looking at characters like Dimitri from Anastasia (I know I’ll be penalized for this, but I don’t get it) or Maid Marian from Robin Hood (okay, yeah, she’s pretty fine) it’s fairly obvious that animators want to make us desire their brainchildren. No matter how uncomfortable that is. This entry we went out of our Movie Zone and touched on some TV Show Loves, as well.
Top Five Cartoon Crushes
5. Cheetara from Thundercats
This is the longest running crush on the list. What boy born in the 1980’s didn’t have a crush on Cheetara? I challenge you to find me one. I say you won’t. You might find some liars, but that would be it. We all loved her. And we all secretly still love her. There’s just something about her. Maybe it’s the tail. Who knows?
4. Tifa from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Tifa is definitely the newest on the list. Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, for those of you that don’t know, is a movie that is that is the sequel to the video game Final Fantasy VII. It’s also the most amazing computer animated movie I have ever seen. I was already in love with Tifa from the game. And that was just crappy Playstation 1 animation. Once I saw her looking sort of, kind of, realistic. Well, there was no going back. She’s just so awesome too. Cloud is one of my favorite characters of all time, and he’s really only awesome because Tifa is there to support him.
3. Hannah Dundee from Cadillacs and Dinosaurs
Cadillacs and Dinosaurs is one of the greatest cartoons of all time. It’s based on one of the greatest comic book series of all time as well, Xenozoic Tales. Sadly, it was only on for one season, when I was like eleven. But that one season was all it took. I knew Hannah Dundee was the girl for me. She was a diplomat that didn’t crap from anybody. Including a T-Rex. Plus, she was totally hot.
2. Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop
I don’t really know what it is about Faye. My wife hates her. She thinks she’s totally annoying. But I think there’s something sort of endearing about her. Sure, she does some really stupid stuff through out this entire series. But its only cause she’s so completely lonely. And who can resist a girl who has her own spaceship? Not me. Plus, let’s admit it, her weird yellow jacket, shorts, suspenders thing is the coolest outfit ever.
1. Asuka Langley Sohryu from Neon Genesis Evengelion
Again, I can’t really tell you what it is about her. Asuka would totally drive me crazy in real life. But watching her, I think she’s so cute. All of her freak-outs, all of her arrogance, its all just cute when I’m watching this show. I can’t help it. She’s totally my top cartoon crush, despite all of the totally annoying things about her.
Honorable mentions: Princess Tigerlily in Peter Pan and The Feather Duster in Beauty and the Beast.
5. Kaneda from Akira
4. Milo Kamalani from Pepper Ann
I finally get to represent what very well may be my favorite show of all time. In case you never had the pleasure of watching this One Saturday Morning gem, you should know that Milo is a blue-haired artist as eccentric as the title character herself. Whenever he’s not spacing out, he could be found playing Crunch Pod at Brain Dead (Hazelnut’s local arcade), or geeking out over bizarro things like assemblies. So basically, he’s a male me. And I like that.
3. Dean Venture from The Venture Bros.
So wholesome, so hilarious, so adorable. I feel kind of bad for having a 16 year-old boy on my list, but he wears Spiderman Pajamas, solves mysteries, practices being a boyfriend, and says things like, “You used to be all ‘Go Team Venture!’ but now … now you’re all ‘Go Team … b—b-boobies!’”
2. Moses from The Prince of Egypt
Really Moses just serves as eye-candy. His personality isn’t really for me. I mean, it’s cool that he delivered the Jews out of Egypt and all, I certainly wouldn’t argue the enormity of his accomplishments, he just did it in a lackluster way. Wait, this sounds wrong, the miracles were great, they just would have been all the better if Aaron (Jeff Goldblum) had summoned them. And I almost chose Aaron for this list because his awkward, Jewy nature is usually what I go for, but, man, Moses just looks too good.
1. Simba from The Lion King
If you couldn’t tell by now, you will most likely see The Lion King represented on any of my lists that pertain to cartoons or musicals. From a young age Simba was my dream man. Uh, I mean dream lion. He’s spontaneous, wild, and voiced by Jonathan Taylor Thomas, thus making him the elementary-school equivalent of “sexy.” I spent a lot of time gazing at my posters and shirts and binders of Simba, trying to mimic his expressions. In a way I was not only in love with him, I wanted to be him. I’m sure if I were ever to see a psychiatrist they would tell me that was on account of my desire to be a boy as well as my ever-growing narcissism. They might be on to something…
Honorable mentions: Brock from Pokémon, Tintin, Shang from Mulan, and Roger from 101 Dalmatians. Oh and I have a video game crush on Marth. And Ryu. And Toad.