A Plea To Whomever Actually Has Power In Hollywood

16 Nov

I don’t know who makes decisions in Hollywood.  I’m not up on all my producers, executive producers, and studio heads.  I don’t know who’s job it is to watch a movie and say, “This should be shown to millions of people around the world.”  Or who watches a movie made in another country and says, “America should see this film.”  I’ve always been baffled by these decisions and situations.  The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus was completed and scheduled for European release for months before it was picked up by American distributors.  Whether this is just lunacy on the parts of Hollywood higher-ups, or if its part of Tinseltown’s internal politics, I couldn’t say.  I just know it’s totally lame and stupid.  And it sucks for all of us who just enjoy watching good, fun movies.  So, today I am presenting a plea for two movies that were shown here in Austin at Fantastic Fest, but have still not been picked up for American distribution.

Movie Number 1: Solomon Kane


Solomon Kane is based on a series of short stories written by Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan.  And let me tell you, they are awesome.  I  was both very nervous and very excited when I heard this hero was being brought to the big screen.  The story follows Kane as he attempts to make up for the acts of violence he committed as a mercenary by living a quiet life as a Puritan.  Actions beyond his control, and apparently caused by demons, force him to take up his sword once again.

James Purefoy, who portrayed Marc Antony on the HBO series Rome, will be bringing the brooding Solomon Kane to life.  I think this a good choice, but its not the only thing that’s got me excited.  The supporting cast in this film is pretty impressive.  We’ve got Max von Sydow, Mackenzie Crook, and Pete Postlethwaite backing him up.

Basically, this looks like a good version of Van Helsing.  Don’t pretend that doesn’t sound awesome.  We all know how much we wanted to like Van Helsing.  There were so many things about it that were perfect, but they just couldn’t hold together all the crap that was up there with them.  Well, Solomon Kane looks like all the best parts of that catastrophe, mixed with creatures from a Guillermo del Toro film.

I’m posting the trailer here.  I will admit that parts of it look silly.  But I am totally ok with that.  Also, I want everyone to know that this movie is generating some serious buzz whenever it is shown at a film festival.  People that see it are really liking it.  So why can’t we see it Hollywood?  Why haven’t you picked this up yet?

Movie Number 2: Yatterman


Yatterman is a live action version of an old anime.  And it looks like it.  I’ve seen a few movies where I thought, “Wow.  That looks like a live action anime.”  Speed Racer is a good example.  But Yatterman is on a completely different level.  This really looks like an anime.  Except real.  The colors are blindingly bright.  There are huge mecha robots destroying the city.  Occasionally, the characters break out into song.  It’s almost like a big budget, incredibly well done version of Power Rangers.

It’s possible that I lost some of you with that comparison.  I hope not.  I loved Mighty Morphin Power Rangers when I was a kid.  And as an adult, I can now love Yatterman. The story follows two young people that are trying to prevent a trio of idiotic villains from obtaining all four pieces of the legendary “Skull Stone”.  Most of the combat between these two sides happens with gigantic robots that are shaped like animals, or something equally ridiculous.

Basically, this movie is absolutely insane, in the best way possible.  And I want to be able to see it on the big screen.  I’ve seen clips of it.  I’ve watched the trailer over and over.  I’ve read reviews by people that were completely blown away and confused by it.  I want to experience the glory of Yatterman

Desperately wanting to watch mechas and musicals in the same movie,



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