Trial By Netflix: Nic and Tristan Go Mega Dega Review

30 Jul

Let us get the basics out of the way:

This movie is about two skateboarding twins whose life goal is to go to the skate park called Mega Dega. Their plans, however, are compromised when they are stuck with a babysitter.

 Here are some things I would rather do than ever watch this movie again:

Discover a long lost evil twin who decides to stab me to death for my wealth.

Get my penis stepped on by a robot dinosaur.

Find out the outcome of kicking Rampage Jackson in the balls.

Become a sex offender.

Watch every Sinbad movie.

Watch ever Sinbad comedy special.

Crawl out of the darkest dimension from which I thought there was no escape only to find out I was dreaming and I never actually left.

Never see Tron Legacy.

Have sex with a squid.

Eat pancakes.

Drive to California, pick up 10 In & Out burgers (Monster Style). Take said burgers to an open field and set them ablaze.

Be in the state of California.

Pay for college.

Have herpes.

Support Tom Berenger.

Never play Starcraft 2.

Win the lottery and die the next day.

Get hit by lightning.

After getting hit by lightning and finding out how terrible it is…get hit by lightning again.

Erase the memory of watching A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi from my mind.

Get the same penis as above, cut off by a 10 foot tall clown. Then have the same clown freeze the penis. Once it is frozen to the point of no return, have the clown file down the penis to a dagger. Then have this penis dagger lunged into my eyes until the end of time.

Read “Ain’t it Cool News”.

Join the foot.

Get the hell beaten out of me by a giant turtle.

That scene where they are flying through the city on their skateboards is, well, how the movie progresses to the next plot point. WUT. The reason this review took so long to write was because I was in a coma.

I HOPE YOU ARE YOU ALL PLEASED,

Tripp Page

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2 Responses to “Trial By Netflix: Nic and Tristan Go Mega Dega Review”

  1. Bruce November 15, 2010 at 7:20 am #

    Accompanied by 9 and 11 year old boys, my wife and I tried to watch this movie last night. It made Dinotopia look like Gone With The Wind. A unanimous vote resulted in the DVD being ejected. Did the twins’ parents pay for this movie?

  2. Doug July 29, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    I kind of liked it…

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