Films We’ve Watched: Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

ALAS! After what seemed like an eternity, the Twilight saga has finally come to a close. It was the fall of 2008 that Twilight was released, and Summit has been able to make sure that their audience doesn’t grow out of Cullen mania by churning out five movies in four years. That’s 1+ film/year! A sparkly miracle, to be sure! How did they do it? I’ll tell you, my young padawan (or Twilight equivalent—let’s say “padaswan”): they used virtually the same story five times, pumped them full of sexual tension, teenage emotion (AKA exhaling sounds), and shoddy CGI. Which, of course, brought in over A BILLION DOLLARS. No judgments on my part, however, as I’ve seen all but the first in the theater and might even own two of them…and Twilight: Scene It…But I’m making no official confirmation of any of these self-proclaimed allegations. I will admit, however, that I felt a tinge of melancholy as I took my seat at Breaking Dawn: Part 2, knowing it would be the last time this insane teen craze would completely confound me. I’d grown fond of my odious cage. Thankfully, the final chapter did not let me down.

Don’t Miss These Netflix, Week 5

This week it’s time for a little expansion. There are more flix on the net than just Netflix, so let us travel down that road as well as the familiar one of instant streaming. But before we stray too far from the norm, the trailer for the Netflix Original series House of Cards, starring Kevin Spacey, is out. If edgy political dramas are your thing, you might dig the trailer. For me though, let’s be real for a second: the only thing worth your attention about this show is Kevin Spacey.

Lara’s Solo Review of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Another six months, another Twilight film. And not a moment too soon, for my teenage-girl-porn withdrawals were starting to get the best of me. Thank God that before New Moon could even leave the theater the Eclipse trailer was put online and not but a week later the DVD of the second installment was released. I’m pretty sure that Summit Entertainment believes that if they allow any lag time for tweens to calm down from their previous Team Edward/Team Jacob spats they will lose them to non-magical distractions like The Jonas Brothers or Justin Bieber. For those fans who are nervous about Eclipse delivering anything different from its predecessors, fear not. The Edward Vs. Jacob pissing contest is Still Going Strong. However, there are a few things that changed since New Moon, I mean, come on, David Slade wouldn’t be brought on to direct the same movie all over again, would he?

Lara’s Review of Twilight: New Moon

I’m not ashamed to say I saw New Moon on its opening day. I love taking part of any cultural phenomenon, be it good (i.e. Star Wars midnight showings) or bad (i.e. High School Musical 3 in the theater)—so I was definitely not going to turn down the opportunity to be surrounded by teenage girls and their crazy mothers as they prematurely swoon over mystical creatures. And boy, am I glad I didn’t, because seeing The Twilight Saga: New Moon on opening night in New York City was an experience unlike any other I’ve ever had.

Twilight New Moon

Facial Hair Florida Failure, Week 14

David is in Florida. He thought he would have internet access but he doesn’t. This poses a problem seeing as he hoped to write a review for yesterday and Facial Hair Friday today. So, even though it’s technically Saturday where I am (New York City, mind you), it’s still Friday where I’m usually live, so I’m going to get this post up quickly so you have your weekly dose of Facial Hair. It might be inspired by a terrible movie that I was spending my precious New York time on this very evening.